Withersoever Thou Goest
When I was a kid we had this running joke about things said in the Old Testament book of Hezekiah. Part of the joke is in the fact that there is no book of Hezekiah at all, even though it really sounds right.
The other part of the joke is the saying, which is made to sound important but really doesn’t mean much of anything.
(If you didn’t grow up in an environment that loved this kind of Bible humor, bear with me. But now you know that I did!)
The saying that I remember the most was “Withersoever thou goest, there shalt thou also be.” Which, of course, is the “Old Testament” way of saying “Wherever you go, there you are.” How silly, to say something so obvious. So obvious it doesn’t really mean anything at all.
But this morning, I’m struck by the fact that in the end this is simply meaningful, so meaningful that it’s easy to miss the point.
My friend Sarah’s blog entry on Monday about Cheddar Chive Biscuits (and other things) got me to thinking more about the idea this week. It made me think about one of the biggest lessons I’ve been “learning by momosis.”
I’ve got plans and ideas. Big Plans and Big Ideas, all the time. It’s my blessing and my curse. Thinking ahead, dreaming, these are all things that have a time and place. In my life that tends to be all the time and everywhere, which isn’t so good.
But little children, and mine more than others, really need us to put all that aside for most of the time we are with them. They barely understand something being three days away. They need is to connect with them in their “wherever I go, here I am” state of being.
My problem is, even though there’s much I love about playing and connecting with my boys in this way, I have to fight a sense of failure and frustration for doing so. That somehow just being “here I am” with them is a waste of time, and holding me back from doing all those other “really important” things (whatever those are.)
Much of what I’ve been learning is to be truly happy and content just being here, wherever I am. Not just for the sake of my kids, but for the sake of myself. To let ago of all the voices in my head that want to talk to me about failure, and striving, and unmet goals. Or at least make them wait their turn, and spend a lot more time being “here I am” and loving it. And all that other stuff may or may not come along, and that’s probably okay.
It must be in the air this week; maybe it’s the fall weather. My Hubby doesn’t update his facebook status all that much, but on Monday he changed it to this:
“I wish present-sight was as clear as hind-sight. If only we could be aware, in the moment, that the moment was important. If that makes sense.”
Yes Honey, that makes sense. Reminds me of that verse from the book of Hezekiah… how did that go again?
Sometimes I hate that wherever I go I’m there. Can’t a girl get a break? But learning to be in the present moment is a constant struggle for me, too. I know these are the times to be drinking in but my mind is often dreaming/scheming and not present.
BTW, there is a Nehamiah in the Old Testament. I believe we always quoted that verse as being from Hezekiah 3:17.
HILARIOUS! I should have been listening to the voice in the back of my head that kept saying “Gosh, it really DOES seem like there’s a book of Nehemiah in the Old Testament.” Guess who hasn’t been reading much Old Testament lately… thanks for having my back, sis. I’m going to go update/correct my post now. Folks will have to read the comments to discover my Old Testament gaffe.
Yes, I remember, we have said that it would be nice to get a break from ourselves from time to time. For us, perhaps this is another way of saying it!
That status was inspired by a particularly hard weekend with the boys where I felt like I spent the entire two days being angry and frustrated. And it occurred to me: Bear is already three (almost) and that time has gone by in a flash. In another blink of our eyes they will be all grown up and won’t need their folks anymore and then you and I will have the rest of our lives to spend together, “unburdened” by the needs of children. And so I have to remind myself that these days, these moments when they need us so much are important and we can’t get them back.
AMEN, Hubby! I have a huge painting of my oldest, now 27, on the wall to remind me. My advice: don’t blink.
My kids are big and every day, I feel the loss of that time when they were small and I was rushing things along to get it over with already. How good that you are drinking it in (the pleasing AND the taxing) because you don’t want to regret the rushing. Who said, “The days are long, but the years are short?”
I’m not feeling the loss of my children when they were little. Three years til Jazz is gone and six til Jay is gone.
Not that I’m counting, of course.
Please don’t call the Parenting Police on me.
I love what hubby said–wishing present-sight was as clear as hindsight. I made some decisions recently that have the potential to lessen time with my kids. I’ve already cried about it a bunch of times, but more than that, it’s helped me be aware that everything only lasts for a season. And I don’t want to miss what’s going on in THIS season. Thanks for the reminder.